idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
