I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
