fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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