There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
