He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
