that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Its about making memories worth repressing
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize