I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
