So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
