Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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