I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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