Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

how was that guy you hooked up with?

(415): View more from California

i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing

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(480): View more from Arizona

Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".

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(312): View more from Illinois

You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(952): View more from Minnesota

dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis

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