p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I need a beard to bite.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero