i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
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I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
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Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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