I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect