I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
