I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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