Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
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Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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