So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
