hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
