i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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