Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
