I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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