hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
