Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
