got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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