I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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