Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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