it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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