Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My life is pants optional.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
