Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
