I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
