sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Holy sore nipples Batman
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
