Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
