I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
