it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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