Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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