It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
