Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
