AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
