I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
