My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
