Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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