I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
