Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
