just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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