it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Wipe that smile off your face.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.