Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities