I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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