By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.