I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
