At least make sure they are 18
Why
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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