Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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