No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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