I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
