It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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