i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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