she looked like the before picture.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
