Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
