This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
