***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
