you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
