Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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