legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
