just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
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Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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