The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
