i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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