i just had sex bonerless
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
