I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
