Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
